Performances invisibles
1.
Breathing (instead of working)
2.
Trying to perform a Fluxconcert in a dream
*
3.
Remaining still and silent (for some time)
4.
Losing gold (in the air, in the street, in water)
5.
Adopting, for some time on a street corner, the pose of Marie Geneviève van Goethem by Edgar Degas, and maintaining a restful position, legs apart, feet forming the fourth classical ballet position, hands behind the back, torso upright and head thrown back
6.
Putting a stone back in its place (in a wall, in a sidewalk, in a lake)
7.
Adding a pinch of salt to the sea
8.
Leaving a slightly greasy fingerprint on a wall of an exhibition space
9.
Discreetly integrating gold jewelry into Charles Daudelin’s Agora (Viger Square, Montreal)
10.
Voluntarily committing a faux pas
*
11.
Masturbating discreetly against a sculpture by Alexander Calder [WARNING: nudity]
*
12.
Playing hide and seek alone
13.
Listening through doors
14.
Sending a kiss remotely to an unknown person
*
15.
Abandoning a tuna fish sandwich
16.
Laying bricks over other bricks
17.
Reciting repeatedly in the subway, with a low, clear, distant voice, little color, a little slower rate than normal and strictly maintained, an excerpt from Eh Joe, by Samuel Beckett: "you know that penny farthing hell you call your mind.... »
18.
Having dark thoughts on a moonless night
19.
Setting something free
20.
Imagining an empty room
21.
Setting a watch back 10 minutes
22.
Waiting for an email
23.
Yawning ostentatiously (for example, to make someone else yawn)
24.
Counting the seconds of silence (in an hour, in a day, in a week, in a month, in a year, in a lifetime)
25.
Blushing (out of shame, pleasure, anger, or anything else)
26.
Pouring out artificial tears somewhere
*
27.
Taking a minute (more or less) of silence
28.
Uploading a text typed using a font designed to be difficult to decrypt by Optical Character Recognition, the software used by Google and the NSA to analyze online text (for example, ZXX, created by Sang Mun, a designer and former employee of the National Security Agency)
29.
Spying on someone or something from a window
*
30.
Trying to telepathically convey the desire to resign to a head of state
*
31.
Asking for the resignation of a political party’s leader as a work of art
*
32.
Seeing red
33.
:) → :( (or Recalling the ruins of a smile)
*
34.
In a museum, repeatedly chanting (without reference) the quote: “There is no document of civilization which is not at the same time a document of barbarism”
35.
Tying one's shoelaces in the middle of a crowd
36.
Discreetly inserting photographic self-portraits into catalogues and exhibitions
37.
Adopting, for some time, a pose evoking Henry Moore’s Reclining Figure (1969-70)
*
38.
Putting on perfume designed for the opposite sex
39.
Not killing oneself every day (on days when one could possibly kill oneself)
40.
Throwing one's own shadow
41.
Going on strike (and quitting art-making for a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime)
42.
Erasing something important
43.
Censoring
an
unimportant
text
44.
Drinking vodka in the rain
45.
Drinking gin in the rain
46.
Drinking white rum in the rain
47.
Drinking white Tequila in the rain
48.
Drinking Triple sec in the rain
49.
Drinking ouzo in the rain
50.
Drinking sambuca in the rain
51.
Eating a family-size bag of Doritos in 10 minutes
*
52.
Talking to oneself
53.
Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth (for a full day or for the rest of one's life)
54.
Curating passages from a library book, gently highlighting them in pencil
55.
Boycotting a randomly chosen restaurant chain for the rest of one's days
56.
Boycotting a randomly chosen airline for the rest of one's days
57.
Boycotting a randomly chosen supermarket for the rest of one's days
58.
Boycotting a randomly chosen credit service for the rest of one's days
59.
Boycotting a randomly chosen automaker for the rest of one's days
60.
Boycotting a randomly chosen museum for the rest of one's days
61.
Boycotting a randomly chosen university for the rest of one's days
62.
Boycotting a randomly chosen electronics company for the rest of one's days
63.
Boycotting a randomly chosen jewelry store for the rest of one's days
64.
Boycotting a randomly chosen funeral home for the rest of one's days
65.
Discreetly dropping off copies of the novel Les Misérables by Victor Hugo at the entrances to barracks or army recruiting centers (in the hope that soldiers carry it around with them)
*
66.
Waiting for one's paycheque
67.
Increasing a debt
68.
Drinking to the health of an unknown person
*
69.
Making a wish for an unknown person
*
70.
Setting your cell phone ringer to an excerpt from the hymn Nearer, My God, to Thee
*
71.
Writing a response to what appears to be a philosophical problem on a university public bathroom wall
*
72.
Adopting a “gunslinger gait” (or Walking in an exaggerated manner)
*
73.
Leaving footprints in the snow among other footprints
74.
Destroying a work of art (or Discreetly abusing power)
75.
Burying a treasure
76.
Discreetly inserting a given object into another almost identical object
77.
Discreetly balancing two almost identical random objects
78.
Discreetly placing a given object against any other almost identical object
79.
Discreetly aligning several almost identical random objects
80.
Knowing how to be discreet
81.
Descending a staircase naked (without being noticed) [WARNING: nudity]
82.
Doubting everything
83.
Making someone wait
84.
Spreading sugar under the snow
85.
Spreading salt under the snow
86.
Spreading flour under the snow
87.
Spreading chalk dust under the snow
88.
Spreading plaster under the snow
89.
Spreading cocaine under the snow
90.
Spreading talc under the snow
91.
Illuminating light with light
92.
Spelling Filippo Tommaso Marinetti’s full name backwards, while eating an orange
*
93.
Eating a slice of pizza at Pizza Hut. Before taking the first bite, exclaiming: Hail to Gorbachev!
*
94.
Visiting a grocery store (instead of a museum)
95.
Brushing one's teeth
*
96.
Hiding one’s influences
97.
Trying to go unnoticed
98.
Looking away
99.
Refraining from commenting
100.
Sending a junk email
101.
Filling out a questionnaire instead of making art
102.
Buying something instead of making art
103.
Keeping one's ideas to oneself
104.
Rejecting an idea
105.
Putting a task off until tomorrow
*
106.
Staying home
107.
Creating a draft
108.
Sending flowers to an unknown person
*
109.
Putting one’s ego aside
110.
Holding back information
111.
Exploiting the dead
112.
Letting one's alarm clock ring
*
113.
Waiting for a war
114.
Going East
115.
Tearing out grass (so that it stays green)
*
116.
Not finding the words
*
117.
Turning one's back
118.
Biting one's nails
119.
Meeting an unknown person
120.
Slowing down one’s orgasm by thinking about an unpleasant individual [WARNING: nudity]
*
121.
Ejaculating in a sock for men Dolce & Gabbana [WARNING: nudity]
*
122.
Creating a puddle of Perrier
123.
Spreading molasses in the street
*
124.
Feeding pigeons brioche
125.
Eating truffles among homeless people
*
126.
Forgetting one’s idea
127.
Aging
128.
Sweating
*
129.
Being tired of being [WARNING: nudity]
130.
Resting from doing nothing
*